Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
