she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
