I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
