I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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