I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize