When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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