walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
All the doctor said was why
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
