Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
