i permit you to call me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
