just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
