Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
