he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
