i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
