Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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