For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize