how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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