I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize