I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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