I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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