Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The air was thick with penises
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
