3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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