THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
