So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize