He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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