I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
