He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
