saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
