I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
