Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
