I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Mom said you looked used
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
