I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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