I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
