I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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