either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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