I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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