I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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