toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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