We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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