i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
