so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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