i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
