We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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