Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This baby is an asshole
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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