You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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