can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
