ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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