some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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