i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
