Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I understand Curling. That high.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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