god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize