you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
