We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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