ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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