i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize