Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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