don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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