is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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