Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I deserve this hangover.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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