So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
