Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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