dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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