dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
